TOMILADE AND THE FABRIC THAT SPOKE
Brief introduction, I started learning how to sew in September 2020 and I fell in love immediately. Learning was fun, cutting patterns, thinking of ways to tweak it to fit my body. I’ve never really liked any cloth sewn for me because they just never fit my body right, and sewing for myself helped with the body dysmorphia thing. I feel my best when I’m wearing something I made because I know it’s FOR ME. I slowly started sewing for my sister and mom too and that was still fun. So far sewing has been fulfilling I think and I’ve also made cute little things for my friends that they’ve loved so far.
I recently got my first client and although I was excited, I was still dreading it because I’ve never sewn outside my circle per se. But the entire thing was a disaster, the dress didn’t fit right, it was just off. Admittedly I’ve never sewn that style before, I still thought I could try. I should have gone in with full confidence. Regardless, I failed and even though she was extremely nice about it I still feel stung because I’ve been doing this for 3 years so it should be a piece of cake to sew a dress so why were the seams wonky in this one. Why was the hem rolling up and ruffling? I took a look at the other things I’ve sewn and asides my earlier attempts when I just started they were okay because I’m good at sewing if I do say so myself. Anyways the point of this is to share the lessons I’ve learnt from sewing that I think applies to any area of our lives. Enjoy and leave your thoughts but please be nice.
[ ] If you ask for help you’ll get it: There are really really nice people in the world who will help you the minute you ask for it. Like I said I messed up and I had to fix my client’s dress so I asked a friend for help and she came through with no questions. We worked on salvaging the dress and even though it was redeemable it wasn’t up to satisfaction. I’m still grateful for everything and to YOU. Thank you so much really. Sha advice is when you mess up even if your first instinct is to give up and isolate yourself and never attempt anything again and just disappear into some remote place and break all your useless fingers with a hammer, DON’T do that because there are people out there willing to help you if you just ask.
[ ] Lack of confidence will make you seek help from people who will sabotage you:
This is a delicate one so I’ll try to explain the reasoning behind it without sabotaging or distressing anyone. When I started learning I used to ask someone for help I analyze a style and try the pattern but if it’s not clear I ask for help because she’s obviously more experienced and after she sabotaged me the first time I didn’t think too much of it because I did pick a complicated style but then it happened again and again and the reasons for my fabrics getting fucked up were relative and ran along the lines of ‘I didn’t see it properly’. I just gave up asking for help and now I just accept my mistakes as mine because why ask for help if it’s going to be ruined by a mistake even I am not likely to make. And it’s more painful because fabrics are expensive and also because if I’d just cut it the way I thought I would have been right. In essence be confident in your skills and stop second guessing yourself or you’ll end up in weird situations and you won’t even be able to complain.
[ ] No matter how skilled you are, you’ll make mistakes: Imagine my surprise at not being able to sew a straight line on my sewing machine that I’ve been using for 3 years. Imagine a whole me unable to attach a band to a skirt. It was like my entire skills ran away from me. Like I was attempting something I’ve never done before which in a way it was. Not an excuse, but still I just felt like an absolute failure and I almost gave up to be honest but thank Goodness I didn’t. Not that the dress turned out well but just that I didn’t give up gives me hope.
[ ] It’s okay to be tired: Maybe it comes from being a law student but I’ve realised in the past few years that I’ve gotten sucked into the culture of overworking myself, like even when you’re tired keep going. And really it’s okay to be tired. It’s a sign that you’ve done enough so abegggg let go. If you die that’s literally your own problem sha. Sorry about that.
[ ] Patience is key, slow and steady wins the race: As someone who broke her seam ripper from overuse, take it from me when I say be patient. If you’re not patient you’ll sew on the wrong side and you’ll have to seam rip and you run the risk of ruining the fabric with all that ripping and unravelling. Also be patient with yourself or you’ll end up hurting yourself and undoing an injury sometimes leaves damages worse than the original wound itself. Sewing is not something you can do impulsively, every seam has to be noted, every notch, precise if not the clothes just won’t fit perfectly and trust me it’s noticeable. In essence patience works every time.
[ ] The guilt from giving up is stronger than the guilt from not doing well: As a strong advocate of if something is stressing you out, drop it and run away, this sounds strange even to me. However, I’ve learnt the hard way that sometimes you have to fight for what you want. Tooth and nail you have to fight. I’ve given up things I love because of stubbornness and my inability to allow anything to stress me, which is all well and good. But then the guilt I felt afterwards was hmmm not something I ever want to feel again. So you know that thing you’re so scared of that you’re willing to let go of even though you really do want to do it, just TRY. Do itttt. Don’t give up please. Even if you don’t do it well you still did it. As a perfectionist this can be difficult to internalise but trust me it works. My source? My actual experience.
[ ] Leave allowance for mistakes: When I first picked up sewing I learnt about sewing allowance and till now I don’t leave out anything less than 2 inches allowance which is excessive for some but for me it’s just perfect because I’m such a scaredy cat who second guesses herself a lot. Leaving allowance also shows a certain level of care and thought and calculation put into the outfit. Also people change and so do their bodies so it means you can still adjust and tailor the clothes to their present self so they can still have something they love that fits their present self. I’m not saying ‘go into everything thinking you’d make a mistake ooo’ I’m saying have contingency plans at least. Be prepared for unforseen circumstances and really there are some things you'll try that come with inevitable risks anyways so leave allowance for those risks so they don't catch you by surprise and leave you in a tight situation. 🌚
[ ] There’s always room for improvement: The same principle that applies to making mistakes despite your level of skill applies to being able to improve yourself no matter the level you get to in life. We are constantly evolving and situations and circumstances change so you can’t always expect to deal with things the same way till eternity. In the fashion industry there’s always trend comebacks, there’s always refurbishing old patterns and making them fit into the modern world. Change is constant and it’s awesome to become better at something. Laws get amended all the time because they don’t fit into the present circumstances and you as a human should definitely not limit yourself to initial knowledge.
[ ] The right design will pick the right fabric: This is probably my favourite part about sewing. Seeing a fabric and envisioning the right design of clothes to sew with it. Seeing the pattern of the fabric come to life with styles that would showcase the details of it makes my heart palpitate. I’m quite neurotic about fabrics if I’m being honest, I absolutely love how chiffon and silk feels under my hands and some of my best designs have been made from both fabrics. The point of this advice is, there is always a place for you somewhere, you aren’t as odd as you think you are. I’ve had a fabric for about two years now that I’ve not sewn because I’ve never seemed to settle on the right design for it and when I think I’ve gotten the right design, something happens like I find a better fabric for the style and I can’t sew it and it gets thrown back in my basket. Recently I was watching a video and saw a set and my heart sang. I found my perfect design for this fabric and my heart has not wavered since then.
All in all I hope my musings will help you in some way as you navigate life. Please note that the advices can be applied exclusively or cumulatively(sorry I’m a law student). Stay sane loves. See you next time❤
